you don't have to be a scientist to do experiments on your own heart
> Recent Entries
> Archive
> Friends
> User Info
|
|
|
June 27th, 2006
12:49 pm
Hallo..
I have been away celebrating the end of my exams. Hurrah! Well, I haven't really been away, physically, but I have been away with the fairies and out of my head the most of the time.
Nothing special has happened really.... I'm a boring sod when it comes down to it. Though I'm convinced that my friends really have ditched me. One of them took his last exam yesterday, and I called him up to see if he wanted to go for a drink (like we had sort of arranged previously) and he said he couldn't because he had made plans. Maybe I am just being paranoid. I don't want to not have any friends though.
Been listening to the Boredoms a lot.
My life is so dull... Now I'm going to go tidy my room and buy some groceries. YAY!
|
June 21st, 2006
12:35 pm
Feeling really shit today...
Got that inablity to lift my limbs. My fingers are barely coming off the keys.
Tomorrow I wll take the first exam that I will ever fail.
I HATE these mood swings. I'm so up, or so down. I weep or I laugh hysterically. Its really difficult.
|
June 20th, 2006
12:44 pm
Had my penultimate exam today. Ok, so that's not exactly important, I just wanted to use the word penultimate.
I walked home from school because the trains were closed down. 7 miles. It was quite pleasant actually seen as the weather is nice, and I got to think a lot about what I'm going to do next year vis-a-vis university, and I think I'm pretty much decided on staying in London. Now it's just fingers crossed that they'll still accept me at UCL.
I feel pretty happy today, things are shaping out well for me, and I'm getting back into my old "if you don't like i fuck you" mind frame. No more treading on eggshells for me. I don't know where I went for a few months, to be honest, but I'm feeling much better now.
I'm going camping on Friday with my boyfriend and some mates, which could be pretty fun, or else pretty miserable (depending on the glorious English weather) and why is it that I always seem to have an exam on the hottest days of the year....
So yeah, happy me = boring me.
Current Location: Home
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/punquinheads/pink/happy.gif) pleased as punch
Current Music: Yello - greatest hits
|
June 18th, 2006
09:30 pm - material desires
I have spent the day learning all about classical art and architecture, and (surprise surprise) feeling sorry for myself.
I spent some time looking up vibrators on the internet. I dunno why but recently the idea of having one has really started to appeal to me. I guess the only thing stopping me is that I think it will make my boyfriend feel emasculated, but I'm not getting one because he doesn't satisfy me... I don't really know why I want one, I guess it's just exploration.
Here is the one I want http://www.annsummers.com/single.asp?gid=7&cat=2&pid=3510 but at £80 its a little out of my price range.
Anyway, I'm sure you didn't actually want to know that....
A few guys have told me they think it's sexy when a girl uses a vibrator... but then everyone likes different things. I'm sure if I talked to my boyfriend about it I could find out, but though I am quite open to talking about that sort of thing I find it really hard to bring up. Generally speaking with me, the more I want to talk about something, the harder I find it to talk about. Unless I'm talking to a complete stranger, or course (because that makes sense).
I got two really great Boredoms albums today (Onanie Bomb meets Sex Pistols and Vision Creation Newsun). The more I listen to this band the less I understand them, I swear they are totally insane. But not insane in the kind of Prurient 'you will never understand this and it will never be fun to listen to' way, but insane like you used to get when you were a kid on a sugar rush, but grown up (but still pretty childish). I mean, its silly music, but its so GOOD that I can't really call it silly without feeling misleading.
I am so bad at describing music. But then, I think the Boredoms defy description more than many other bands.
I've actually been having a pretty nice time these last couple of weeks, if I ignore the twice weekly bouts of depression. I haven't really worried about anything, I've listened to some good music, hung out with some good people, done enough work to not feel guilty, but not so much that I feel I've been chained to my books. I dunno, I feel like I've struck the balance pretty right, so it doesn't really make sense that I've been so miserable for some of the time. I guess I'm still getting used to the fact that my friends have ditched me... But when I think about it directly like that it really doesn't feel so bad, I don't notice it creeping up on me but occasionally it makes me feel really shit.
I guess life is confusing! Out of all the people I've though I've loved (admittedly very few) only one has turned out good so far. And that could turn sour at any time. I wonder if it's me, or if it's just the nature of love not to last?
Current Location: Floor
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/punquinheads/pink/curious.gif) curious
Current Music: Boredoms - Feedbackfuck
|
10:59 am - hi
had a rubbish day and a nice day yesterday.
i was locked out, and my brother acted like a complete arsehole about it, making me go to his girlfriends house and get a key cut, and then when i return his key he decides that he wants to come home anyway, so it was a huge waste of time and money for me. then he shouted at me lots when we got in and we were in the kitchen and i had to leave because i had a massive urge to knife him.
he is so immature for a 22 year old i swear.
then i went to sleep for a long time and woke up to a yummy barbeque dinner cooked by my boyfriend, with ice cold pimms and lemonade :)
i am so happy the exams are almost over, maybe my friends will go back to normal. i cant explain the gulf that has opened up between us. they have both (yes, i only have 2 friends) spent the last 2 months working solidly for these exams, having no fun and getting really pissy with each other the whole time, not realising (seemingly) that exams are not the be all and end all of life. maybe its me who has the silly point of view, but i rate being happy way above passing my exams. i think i'm just choosing a different path to them, and they cant understand it...
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/punquinheads/pink/awake.gif) awake
Current Music: nothing - birds tweeting outside (in my head i'm singing)
|
June 15th, 2006
10:05 pm - hi
hi.
i'm janet. i dunno really why i'm starting this, i guess i just want to communicate with some interesting people, 'cause my friends have gone into a weird coccoon (spelling?) of exam stress, and dont really like me anymore, so i have much more time on my hands and such.
sad really.
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
janet_themes's journal